Parenting is a journey filled with joy, chaos, questions, and constant learning. One of the most influential aspects of how we raise our children is our parenting style—the approach we take in guiding, disciplining, and nurturing our kids.
Experts generally categorize parenting styles into four major types. Each one carries its own philosophy, benefits, and challenges. Let’s explore them with principles, examples, and real-life-inspired stories.
1. Authoritative Parenting – Firm but Warm
Principle: High expectations + high responsiveness
Philosophy: “I have rules, but I also listen.”
Example: A child forgets to do their homework. The authoritative parent discusses the consequence, reminds the child why schoolwork matters, and helps them plan better for next time.
Story:
Maya’s 10-year-old son, Arjun, was struggling with screen time limits. Instead of punishing him immediately, Maya sat with him and discussed why balance was important. They agreed on clear boundaries and created a schedule together. Arjun felt respected—and stuck to the plan.
Result: Kids raised this way tend to be confident, responsible, and socially adept.
2. Authoritarian Parenting – Strict and Controlling
Principle: High expectations + low responsiveness
Philosophy: “Because I said so.”
Example: A child talks back. The authoritarian parent responds with immediate punishment without a conversation about the behavior or feelings behind it.
Story:
Ravi enforced a strict bedtime for his daughter, Priya. One night, she asked to stay up late to finish a school project. Ravi refused without discussion. Priya felt frustrated and unsupported, and the next day, her incomplete work got her in trouble.
Result: Children may become obedient but often struggle with self-esteem or rebel as they grow.
3. Permissive Parenting – Lenient and Indulgent
Principle: Low expectations + high responsiveness
Philosophy: “I trust you’ll figure it out.”
Example: A child wants to eat candy for dinner. The permissive parent allows it to avoid conflict or because “it’s just one night.”
Story:
Leena often gave in when her son, Aarav, threw tantrums. She wanted to be his friend and avoid tears. Over time, Aarav started testing boundaries more, knowing they were flexible. He began struggling in school, where rules were non-negotiable.
Result: These kids may be creative and expressive, but often lack discipline and struggle with authority.
4. Neglectful Parenting – Uninvolved and Detached
Principle: Low expectations + low responsiveness
Philosophy: “You’re on your own.”
Example: A child comes home from school upset, but the parent is too busy or distracted to notice or respond.
Story:
Samaira was often left to care for herself after school. Her parents were busy with work and rarely checked her homework or knew who her friends were. She became withdrawn and began skipping school.
Result: Children can suffer from poor emotional development, low self-esteem, and academic struggles.
What’s Your Parenting Style?
Take this quick quiz to find out!
Answer each question honestly with the option that best reflects how you usually act.
1. When your child breaks a rule, you:
A. Explain why it was wrong and discuss consequences
B. Punish them quickly to make a point
C. Let it go or try to avoid conflict
D. Don’t notice or respond unless it becomes a big issue
2. How do you respond to your child’s emotional outbursts?
A. Acknowledge their feelings and help them calm down
B. Tell them to stop and get it together
C. Try to soothe them by giving them what they want
D. Ignore it or feel unsure of what to do
3. How involved are you in your child’s daily life (school, friends, routines)?
A. Very involved, but I give them space to grow
B. I monitor them closely and expect obedience
C. I try to be there, but I mostly let them do their thing
D. I’m often too busy or not sure how to get involved
4. When setting rules, you:
A. Set clear rules with reasons and consistency
B. Set strict rules with little room for discussion
C. Rarely enforce rules or change them often
D. Don’t really have many rules
5. Your child wants to do something you don’t agree with. You:
A. Discuss it and explain your viewpoint, then decide together
B. Say no without room for negotiation
C. Say yes to keep them happy
D. Don’t respond or avoid the conversation
Tally Your Answers:
Mostly A’s: Authoritative Parent – Balanced, supportive, and firm.
Mostly B’s: Authoritarian Parent – Disciplined, but may need to allow more openness.
Mostly C’s: Permissive Parent – Loving, but may benefit from more boundaries.
Mostly D’s: Neglectful Parent – Disconnected; re-engaging can greatly help your child.
Note: No quiz is perfect. This is just a reflection tool—your parenting style can shift over time and with awareness!
So, Which Style Are You?
No parent fits perfectly into one category. We all have moments when we slip into different styles, depending on our stress levels, upbringing, or environment.
But here’s the key:
The authoritative style consistently shows the most positive outcomes. It blends structure with empathy—discipline with love. It teaches children that while the world has rules, their voice matters.
Parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. Being mindful of your style is the first step in evolving as a parent. Keep learning, keep adapting, and remember: your relationship with your child is the most powerful parenting tool you have.
Please leave your comments, it helps me.
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Dr. Alfred D'Silva 
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