Living in a world where success is defined by the wealth and possessions we achieve, Stress and negativity are the outcome of this pursuit of defining our success. Even if you don’t subscribe to this definition of success for some people even just surviving generates a lot of stress and negativity. Many of us believe that this is a malady we can’t rid ourselves off, if we wish to fit in this world. Trying to live a respectable life has to endure stress and negativity. No matter how big or small, how old or young, rich or poor you are, everyone faces stress and negativity.
We rarely do the things that we wish to do. Even the things that we think we want to do are instilled in our minds by social conditioning. That’s why we keep shifting from one want after another. So many times we want things without even needing them. We want things just to fit in or social pressure or conditioning. Hence after we get these things we are happy only for a short time. After some time we are bored of them. Our self worth needs more things to keep up to our socially acceptable standards. We are mentally engineered by society that we believe that the current way of life that generates stress and negativity is the new normal. This understanding is the reason that most people don’t do anything to overcome this stress and negativity. Even if they do something to tackle this menace they do it by indulging in intoxicants like alcohol, smoking and drugs.
The outcome of this stress and negativity is loss of peace and happiness. The desire to always want more, never satisfied with what you have, thinking and believing that more things and money leads to happiness, keeps you occupied with doing the things that will only generate even more stress and negativity.
There are basic activities and responsibilities that we all have to fulfill, like caring for our family and friends, earning our daily bread, learning and education, providing a shelter. These too generate stress and negativity.
So is there any escape or cure for this malady or are we all destined to experience stress and negativity? Well the good and bad news is Yes and No. We will all encounter stress and negativity at some point in our lives but we don’t have to be subdued by it we can easily overcome it. Here are a few easy and simple strategies you could incorporate into your daily lives and overcome stress and negativity
You could begin by observing the events and situations in your life that have got you worried, anxious and stressed. List them down on paper. Number them listing the most stressful events high up as 1, 2 and the lessor stressful events 3,4 all the way till 10 or beyond in the decreasing order.
Let’s take the hugely negative and stressful task and observe it. Ask the question. What’s so great about this task that it’s overwhelming me? It could be the sheer magnitude of the task or the deadline or the responsibility the task demands.
The next step would be to just break the mega tasks into several mini tasks. Just like slicing a loaf into slices.
Stratigise a workable solution. Work one step at a time. One mini task at a time.
Follow your time schedule as per your capacity to function.
Take help of others and involve as many resources to help you. Take advise
It will make the impossible, possible.
Celebrate when you complete the small mini task, bask in the glory of your accomplishments, relax for a few minutes and feel good and victorious. This step is very important and don’t ignore it. Then move to the next mini task. This instills a sense of accomplishment and energises you for the next step with a positive attitude. It sets the pace for all further actions. You can accomplish much more with a sense of accomplishment then with scheduling and deadlines. You will feel energetic, lively, positive and confident.
Meditation and prayer are awesome when it comes to neutralising stress and negativity. By investing a few minutes in prayer and meditation you could energise yourself for the whole day. You will be able to confidentiality shift from one task after another with the centered mind and assurance that a higher power is in control. The higher power is supporting and guiding you. You can develop the habit of small centering moments in the day especially when you feel imbalance through prayer and meditation.
Talking and sharing your anxieties, worry, concerns, inability, lack of resources etc. with someone you trust and normally seek guidance and counsel. Just the act of sharing releases the steam that the event generated. The release reduces the pent up negative energy. You feel light and ready to carry on.
Physical exercise, dancing, cycling, swimming, yoga have a relaxing effect on stress. You feel stronger, centered and focused after doing the above activities. It also releases the positive hormones and you feel more confident and happy.
Reading and listening to motivational literature and videos help to motivate and educate you. Learning something new opens up the mind and new ideas flow into your mind. Inspirational stories help you combat negativity with the hope that you will surely overcome your trials and emerge victorious. It reduces the gloom and helps you elevate yourself.
Listening to relaxing music helps to calm the racing mind that has got pumped up with all the stress and anxiety. The restless mind can slowly calm down and relax.
A warm water bath after you get back home from a stressful day is so relaxing and de stressing. The warm water relaxes the stressed and tensed muscles of the head neck, back. Spending time alone in the tub or shower feeling the water helps you calm down. Remember to not be in a hurry while bathing or else it will defeat the purpose.
Meet friends and spend time with family. Share the incidences of the day. Share pleasant moments of the day, stressful moments, fun you had with friends, conversation with your boss, colleague, clients. Involve your family in your life, don’t carry your stresses with you all the time. Dance, sing have fun or just talk about each others day. Have some light, non offensive fun. Make your house a home. Make your home a safe zone to share and care, find and give support to one another.
Seek help of a doctor, psychologist or psychiatrist if you feel too stressed out and are not in a position to take care of yourself. Homoeopathy, reflexology, accupuncture, aromatic oils, massage etc are helpful. Homoeopathy and Bach flower remedies help profoundly.
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Dr. Alfred D'Silva 
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