When your managing the kid’s, the home, your personal life and your job, the last thing you’ll ever want is your kid driving you nuts. Unfortunately that’s not an option as a parent. In order to provide a good life to the family both parents are working. Even if you are a homemaker the challenge of staying calm is no less daunting. The numerous roles that parents have to play to ensure smooth running of the family just adds up to the stress of a parent.
In the light of the challenges that parents to encounter it’s very understandable that they are stressed and tired. They have already burned a great deal of their energy managing and overcoming the challenges of the day outside home. Then when they come home the second job starts. Some times everything goes well and it’s a great joy to come home and relax. Unfortunately that’s not what most parents encounter when they reach home. they have to pick the child from the daycare, come home, set the home right and the list goes on…..
On the other hand the child is full of energy and starts demanding your attention. He expects you to be at his energy level. He is happy to see you and wants to engage with you in playful activity. The parent finds it difficult to engage at a high energy level and with full involvement as the responsibilities of the day are not yet over but the energy is almost over. It’s now a drag not a happy feeling. The demands of the child and his running around as he is not getting your involvement for which he was waiting all day, begins to get you on your nerves. The irritation is not becoming anger. The more you desire peace you will witness chaos. The child is not happy that you are not engaging to his satisfaction.
Children know us better than we know ourselves and they somehow know how to trigger that little red button of anger especially when they are not getting what they want. It’s extremely challenging to stay calm if you are not fully aware of the psychodynamics at play and have not trained yourself sufficiently to stay calm and in control in this situation.
Awareness is the key to solving the problem and not unconsciously flowing with the emotional momentum. Irritation slowly gathers momentum and becomes anger and then rage. Becoming aware of this pattern and breaking the anger momentum will prevent it from escalating into a fully blown display of rage.
Most parents loose their cool and resort to yelling, screaming and arguing with the kids and some times among themselves.
Yelling is an emotional trap. It’s a selfish act.
When you are angry your ability to think rationally is hampered.
When you are yelling the kid is in control and its not a good position to be in. Firstly become fully aware that you are getting stressed out and are loosing your grip on the situation. So calm down. Take charge of the situation. Calmly and firmly set things right.
Handle your child with a calm voice, calm face, calm posture. That’s the adult way of being and staying in control. The kids way of being in control is to cause a tantrum. They need to know who is in control. They are battling it out with you to gain control.
Stress kills the good you. So firstly take some time off daily, it’s your time to rejuvenate yourself. Meditation, exercise, yoga, positive self talk will help you to to recharge your stressed and tired mind.
Eat some healthy, energy and nutrient rich foods. Avoid junk foods.
Sleep well at least 7 hours at night. Stop burning the candles at both ends.
If you continuously work without rest you will eventually burn out. A stressed out person will blow hot fire like a dragon with the slightest provocation.
Your ability to control yourself will be negligible.
So apart from night sleep, take frequent breaks throughout the day. It will help by frequently recharging your battery and getting you moving all charged up.
Ask for help. Don’t wait for your spouse or relatives and friends to volunteer to help you. Ask anyone who can help in your circle, in any way they can to make you feel less burdened.
Create a support group of like minded people. Talk and share your feelings and frustrations. This is a great stress buster and also a rich source of knowledge. A support group comes handy when you need help the most. Easy available help is such a relief.
Find some fun activity, talk and interact with friends, relax, read books, watch something you like. Join parenting groups to share and learn more about parenting.
Have some ME TIME. Find your type of relaxation and fun. Take this personal time out as it’s crucial in the rejuvenation process.
Always remember that your role as a parent is to love your child unconditionally. Not only loving them when they are good but also loving them when they are bad and doing the things you disapprove. Love cannot be conditional.
Homeopathy combined with counseling has proven time and again to be extremely effective in treating behavioral problems, attention deficit disorders and hyperactivity in children.
Learning and upgrading parenting skills along with personal counselling can create wonders in your home.
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Dr. Alfred D'Silva 
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